How to know if your Man is cheating on you.
Body language can potentially tell you a lot about someone. If you’ve ever had to ask yourself whether your partner is being unfaithful, chances are something is up.
Your husband is cheating. You’re not sure what to do. Before wrestling with that decision, let’s focus first on what you Shouldn’t do. Most women react blindly when they find out their husbands are having an affair. They let fear, anger, hurt, or a desire for revenge compel them to do things they later regret, things which make it difficult or impossible to implement any worthwhile infidelity advice they may later receive.
1. He becomes emotionally distant
Most of my female patients say that their partner became very emotionally distant when he had an affair. He was physically present in the relationship, but did not connect emotionally, on an intimate level with her.
People cannot be invested emotionally in their relationship if they have formed an intimate relationship with someone else.
The person having an affair will not invest time and energy into talking about dreams and goals. They won’t ask you how you’re doing, or encourage you to share your feelings.
They feel guilty about cheating, and won’t share their own feelings either. They will not say “I love you”, or tell you how important you are to them.
2. He doesn’t leave his phone lying around
If even in his own house he never puts his phone on the table or just anywhere else whenever you are around, then something is really fishy. If you have been together for a long time, he should be comfortable with you already, so he does not need to be too cautious about his stuff when you are together. You can try borrowing his phone. If he hesitates, then your suspicion could be correct.
3. He starts talking frequently about another woman
Does your husband’s new coworker or friend seem to occupy his thoughts with surprising frequency? Does he always seem to find a way to work them into his stories? If your husband is preoccupied by someone else to the point that he can’t stop talking about them, it could be one of the signs your husband is cheating.
4. He avoids being alone in the room with you
Many times a cheating husband has already made up his mind about having an affair, or may already be involved in one. If he’s avoiding being alone with you, it’s a sure sign something’s wrong with your relationship, and he knows that something’s wrong.
5. The emotional quality of your relationship has changed
If your husband starts caring less about you, or your marriage, and worrying a lot more about himself, it could be a sign that he’s cheating on you. A faithful husband will be focused on your future together, while a cheating husband will be more worried about his future, without you.
6. You catch him lying to you
Your boyfriend told you good night early, because he was so tired so he would sleep already. Then, after five hours, you found him online on Messenger, or was ‘active 3 minutes ago’, but he never chatted you. The next morning, he told you he felt so refreshed because of his early sleep.
Especially if he never lied to you before, catching him lie even about small things now could be a serious sign of cheating. This is an indication that he is doing something which he does not want you knowing about.
7. He only sees your flaws
They say a guy, when in love, can stand even the worst traits of his special someone. When your boyfriend told you he loves you and asked you to say ‘yes’ to him, it meant he accepted you for what you are, including your flaws. Now, if suddenly he becomes too sensitive to your imperfection, then something could be wrong. If it seems like all he could see are your mistakes, then maybe he is looking for an excuse to leave you.
8. He can take you for granted easily
If before he would do everything to make peace with you every time you were mad at him, but now he does not care even if you do not talk to him for days, then you have to wonder why. Maybe he is not afraid to lose you anymore, because he has someone else.
9. He’s suddenly very busy with work
If he suddenly has to travel out of town more frequently, or he’s having a lot more late nights at the office, it could be cause for concern.
If he’s recently been promoted or his job has changed somehow, this might not be something to worry about. But if you know that’s not the case and he’s exhibiting some of the other signs here as well, it’s a definite cause for concern.
Is he going out after work more frequently for happy hours with people from the office? If there’s a new woman at work this could be a way for him to spend time with her off the clock and away from the office, to get to know her on a more personal level. If he never went to work happy hours before and suddenly starts going regularly, it could be a sign he’s testing the waters to cheat.
It’s also possible he’s using “work” as a cover for whatever he’s out there doing. Saying you have to work is a tough excuse to argue with.
10. He picks fights with you
If he’s started seeming angry with you all the time and you don’t know why, it could be because he feels bad and wants to turn you into the bad guy to alleviate his guilt.
Is he being hypercritical? Nitpicking about every little thing you do that irritates him? He might be trying to focus on any trait of yours that could supply him with a justification for cheating, no matter how slim.
If you’re wonderful, then he’ll feel terrible about betraying you, but if he can turn you into someone awful and make that a reason for him to cheat, on some level, it might make him feel a little bit better.
11. He’s Selfish
If your man is self indulgent and puts himself before everything, never compromising with you, he could be the kind of guy to cheat, as infidelity is a selfish act on it’s own.
12. He is defensive about everything, almost as if he is anticipating conflict
Few people like conflict, especially in the home. Your husband is no different, so if he’s defensive about everything, and always prepared for conflict, you need to dig a little deeper. A man behaving like this is often doing so because he knows something’s wrong. He knows something’s wrong, because he’s having an affair.
13. His body or clothes smell differently than they used to
Too many women overlook this basic element of their husbands. Every man has his own smell. It’s a combination of what he eats, where he sleeps, the soaps and colognes he uses, and the woman he sleeps with. If the smell of his body changes, it’s time to see if he’s been having curry for lunch, or an affair with another woman for dessert.
14. He deletes text messages from his phone
Most people don’t delete their text messages, because it usually takes more effort than reading them. If he starts deleting his text messages, chances are that you have a cheating husband on your hands, or one preparing to cheat.
15. He starts keeping secrets, and not telling you little things he used to share
When your husband stops sharing little things with you, like stories from the office, or a challenge he might have overcome, it’s a bad sign. Men aren’t usually the most talkative creatures, but they have an instinctive need to show off accomplishments and successes to their wives. If he stops showing you, he’s either going through a major crisis, or showing another woman.
16. He has issue in the bedroom
Sometimes, changes in your husband’s se•xual habits outside of your bedroom can mean changes in the bedroom too. This can sometimes mean that reaches climax during s•ex with you, or at least takes longer to do so.
S•ex is an inherently intimate experience, but when someone’s cheating, it becomes significantly less so. If your spouse is no longer looking at you during se•x, bails on the foreplay, or won’t even kiss you during the act, it could be a sign his mind is wandering elsewhere.
18. His friends are being especially chummy with you
Sometimes, the guilt that comes along to an affair doesn’t stop at the people involved. If your husband’s friends are suddenly treating you like their BFF, even when you haven’t been that close in the past, it could be a sign your spouse is cheating and has let some members of his inner circle in on the news.
19. He Cheated on His Last Girlfriend
The saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” isn’t necessarily true, but if he’s been disrespectful to girls in the past, it’s a sign that he may not be trustworthy and will disrespect you too.
Also, watch how he treats other girls and the women in his family. If he has no respect for them, what makes you any different?
You can’t have a healthy relationship if you’re paranoid and suspicious, whether your suspicions are justified or not. Trust is essential, and trust is what you need to focus on. Think about the positive things you can do to turn the tide, to increase the trust between you.
When it comes to dealing with the man you love possibly cheating on you, what you need to understand is that you can’t control what he’s doing, you can only control how you choose to respond to it. Unless you know for sure he’s already cheated, then distrusting him, blaming him, or punishing him are not the right way to go.
Instead, what you want to do is consider why he may be thinking of cheating. This is not to say that if he wants to cheat you are the one to blame! It’s to say that relationships take two, and a person totally happy and satisfied in a relationship is generally not going to look elsewhere.
So if his attention seems to be wandering and you’ve noticed some of these signs, start thinking about why he fell in love with you, to begin with and bring that energy back into the relationship.
Don’t berate him for attending too many happy hours or staying too late at work or going on too many business trips. Instead, try to carve out special time together. Suggest going on some of his trips with him, if possible. Be supportive.
But if you’re bringing positive energy into the relationship and he’s still treating you badly, if the trust feels like it’s completely gone or if you’re pretty sure he’s already cheated, you need to think about walking away. Remember that you can’t control his behavior, but you can control yours.